How to improve emotional intelligence – 10 simple ways to increase EQ

How to improve emotional intelligence


How to improve emotional intelligence is the concern of every genius on this globe. But let me first define what is emotional intelligence. Emotional Intelligence sometimes refer as Emotional Quotient (EQ) is the ability to be sensitive and manage one’s emotions as well as the emotions of others. A well-known psychologist Dr. Daniel Goleman has written several books on the subject of what is emotional intelligence and how to increase emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is generally said to include at least three skills namely-

1 : Self-emotional awareness (the ability to identify and name one’s own emotions).

2 : Self-emotional management (The ability to control your own emotions).

3 : Social emotional awareness (The ability to understand the emotional needs and concerns of other people).

An emotionally intelligent person is someone who is highly conscious of his or her emotional state. Improving on your Emotional intelligence helps you to be sensitive to emotional signals both from within yourself and your social environment. It could make you a better father, mother, child, friend, leader and spouse, which will definitely lead to avoiding depression at all times. In this article I shall explain 10 simple ways on how to improve emotional intelligenceĀ  which will help you a lot in developing your emotional quotient.

10 Simple ways on how to increase Emotional Intelligence

If you are one of those who want to improve and develop emotional intelligence, you are at right place. Following are the 10 simple ways and effective strategies on how to increase emotional intelligence.

1. Know yourself:

Knowing yourself first is the best way on how to develop emotional intelligence. Be aware of your abilities, your likes and dislikes, since knowing yourself will surely go a long way to improve on your emotions. It will help you know how your emotions and actions can affect the people around you. Be yourself at all times.

2 Be assertive:

This is the ability to communicate effectively, to convey your needs and ideas in a clear and direct manner, the way you want other people to communicate and convey theirs. This will help you to actually gain insight into your own emotional state as well as your values and beliefs. Being assertive is the opposite of passive and aggressive. Being assertive helps you express your emotions clearly without hurting other people and also to listen and understand other people’s emotions. In this way, assertive communication is considered one the best emotional intelligence skills.

3. Calm down (Relax yourself):

Always relax your mind, please do not form the habit of taking actions too fast or making decisions so early. Think before you take any step and don’t always allow your emotions to overwhelmed you. It may not always be easy to think clearly or make a rational decision, but you have to take control of yourself. When you become overly emotional, your ability to think clearly becomes compromised. In this way you can assess accurately neither your own emotions nor that of other people around you. Take actions and decisions when you are relaxed to avoid making permanent decisions onĀ  temporary issues. Rash decisions can be detrimental to your emotional intelligence. So calm down yourself before you take any important decision of your life. This strategy will help you a lot on your way how to improve emotional intelligence.

Related: Global Emotional Intelligence Test

4. Show Tolerance:

To accept people the way they are is one of the greatest ways to handle your emotions. See more of positive attitude in people than you see their negative attitude, acknowledge their strengths more than their weaknesses. This will help you to accept them the way they are. In this way you can take your emotional intelligence at next level.

5. Be Humble:

One of the best strategies to improve emotional intelligence is being humble all times. Knowing fully well that you have your strengths and weaknesses, you should always be ready to take corrections at all times even when you are not wrong. Appreciate other people and encourage them by doing that you are equally creating your own inner peace of mind. Sometimes inspiring others makes us inspired. Also learn how to accept other people’s mistakes because nobody is perfect. This attitude will enhance your emotional intelligence in a silent way.

6. Control your reaction:

Never allow others to control your reaction, know also that you may not be able to control actions towards you but you can control the way you react to them. Build an inner resistance that will help you resist people’s negative actions and see it as a common temperament they have no control over. Don’t allow your emotions control your reactions rather let your emotional intelligence control your reactions. It will help you a lot on the way how to improve your emotional intelligence.

7. Learn to forgive and forget:

Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies by Nelson Mandela. Emotional intelligence improvement is not possible without the willingness to forgive and forget. Learn to let go of the past. That is to say that forgiveness is the freedom gained to improve on your emotional intelligence, forgive other people even without them asking for it. Also be willing to apologize to other people and take corrections. This habit will help you a lot in improving emotional quotient (EQ).

8. Learn to use lovely words:

Improving EQ is not an easy job for a man of average intelligence. It requires continuous improvement in the way we behave with others. Let your daily and first word, every morning, be a lovely word, breath each day a fresh morning air, on getting up from your bed say to yourself “My dear mouth I am putting all the lovely words that my inner ear want to hear “. This will go along to brighten your day and all difficulties and emotions. This will also help you to get along with others. In the long-run you will have better control over your emotions.

9. Listen more and talk less:

This Will go a long way to protect your emotions, always be a good listener, love to hear people rather than wanting to be heard. Talking less will help you not to hurt your own emotions or other people’s feelings, believing that your actions will speak louder than words. You have always control the way you speak especially to people. Learn to speak only when necessary. There is a saying that spoken words can never be taken back so you have to control the way you talk, especially in public. This attitude of self-control will make you a master of your own emotions. Practice online EQ test and follow the recommendations on how to improve emotional quotient.

10. Renew your mind:

Renewal of your mind is the strongest and fastest strategy to enhance emotional intelligence level. This starts within and inside of you, before it is displayed physically. Chose to renew your mind every day, that is, the Willingness to learn new positive attitude each day, know that you are not too old or young to learn, nobody knows it all, and as we all know, no Knowledge is a waste. Surely this will go a long way how to improve your emotional intelligence.


Emotional intelligence which is the ability to know and manage one’s emotions and that of other people around us is something that you need to improve on. This will help you build successful and happy life. Improving one’s emotional Intelligence will always help you in your everyday activities to keep the light burning within you.

About author

Miss ANIEHE NINIAN OGOCHUKWU, obtained her BSC in Industrial Mathematics and applied Statistics from Enugu state university of science and Technology Enugu, Nigeria. She likes to read and write.



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